I Cannot Wait Until The Day I Can Cheat

Hi, I’m Slowly Dying Inside. Day Three.

The only thing, and I mean the ONLY THING that is getting me through this day is the fact that on Saturday I can eat whatever the fuck I want. That’s the big fat rainbow unicorn of this whole slow-carb diet and I’ve been fantasizing about it for approximately 11 hours.

Saturday is the day that I can eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want (alcohol), and eat however much I want! Oh the things I will do. I’m buying one of those plastic kiddie-pools and just filling it up with candy and laying in it all day long. It’s going to be so great.

That is what makes this whole diet fairly tolerable, there is basically an end point every single week.  That one glorious moment when you just throw everything out the window and go ass-wild like a 21 year old girl on molly at Coachella. It’s really going to be THAT good. I can’t wait to write all about it.

What Was On The Menu Today?

Breakfast: Three scrambled eggs and a almond milk protein shake with cinnamon and vanilla extract.

Lunch: Leftovers from last nights dinner. Carne-asada with a little pico, brussles, spinach salad.

Snack: One teaspoon of almond butter, 4 wasabi roasted seaweed snacks (which I’m assuming probably taste pretty similar to salted paper towels), and a tiny square of dark chocolate (probably not allowed, it won’t happen again).

Dinner: Oven roasted salmon and asparagus with chile cilantro lime Bitchin’ Sauce

Did I Move My Booty Today?

Not really. I’m still incredibly handicapped from my kettle bell workout on Sunday. I’m a little scared because I have to do that same workout again tomorrow.

Okay So Back To Cheat Day For A Quick Sec.

It’s completely brilliant because I really have something to look forward to every single week. It’s not like I can’t ever eat ice cream again, or Pinkberry, or like twelve Snickers bars in a row, chocolate covered almonds, BREAD, macaroni and cheese (the rich people kind with like truffle butter and bone marrow), Almond Joys, chocolate covered anything, Watermelon Sour Patch, Doritos, Flaming Hot Cheetos,  FRUIT!!! (I miss fruit). I get to do ALL THAT…FOR ONE ENTIRE DAY.

The best part is I don’t even have to feel guilty about it. To be able to eat all that shit guilt free, holy shit!

According to Tim Ferriss, “Paradoxically, dramatically spiking caloric intake in this way once per week increases fat-loss by ensuring that you metabolic rate (thyroid function and conversion of T4 to T3, etc.) doesn’t downshift from extended caloric restriction.” I have no fucking idea what that actually means, especially the “etcetera part”, but sign me the fuck up for any diet that encourages me eat three pounds if Swedish Fish flavored Oreo cookies once a week.

Cheat day has officially reached The Top Five Best Days Of My Life:

#1 – Any week day that involves less than a one hour commute on the 805

#2 -My wedding day

#3 – CHEAT DAY

#4 – The day I met Ryan Braidwood

#5 – The day I dropped out of graduate school

Send Pics?

No pictures today. I started taking pictures of my food but it all just looked so sad.